"Five More Ways To Escape Uncomfortable Feelings of Low Self-Esteem and Poor Self-Confidence"

Many people live their entire lives without getting to the source of what originally caused their feelings of low self-esteem.  Because they are unaware of how they can heal their painful past and reframe the circumstances that originally resulted in interpretations of being unworthy, unlovable, or deficient in some way, most people instead often resort to finding ways to distract themselves from the unpleasant sensations that accompany feeling inferior. Instead of effectively silencing the nagging voice of past hurts, they seek out distractions to help them temporarily forget about their lacking confidence and deficient self-image. Five of the more common ways to relieve the pain of low self-esteem and poor self-confidence involve excessive attention to work, food, sports, sex, or even shopping. Like all addictions, they help to distract from but do not resolve the underlying problem and so one is still plagued by feelings that will continually require greater efforts from which to hide.

Workaholism

In our culture, work is usually an acceptable means of diverting our attention. Through hard work, we busy ourselves to the extent that we lack the free time needed to brood over our sorrows. Those who work excessively are often too tired to worry about a lacking social life or the pursuit of fun pastimes that they often likewise believe they do not deserve to experience. Work provides rewards such as money, recognition, and a feeling of accomplishment, all of which help to compensate for feelings of failure in other areas of life.

It’s not that a commitment to work is bad. In fact, it is quite admirable as just one component to a well-balanced life. However, when pursued to excess, it doesn’t allow for the honoring of other equally important elements such as a commitment to family, friends, fun, recreation, personal and spiritual development, etc. An obsession with work can take its toll on health, relationships, and missed opportunities for other equally valuable pursuits.

Moreover, when work is undertaken from the perspective that one is ‘not good enough’ in one or more aspects of their being, it can’t be fully enjoyed. Feelings of low self confidence and little self-esteem diminish one’s energy by consuming attention that could have been spent more productively in the joyful pursuit of one’s goals, rather than as a distraction from persistent negative self-talk.

Over-Eating

Like working excessively, an obsession with food is often a common escape from feelings of unworthiness. Eating can serve both as a distraction and a way to make ourselves feel better temporarily. We often seek from food the emotional connection that we are lacking in close, intimate relationships. Frequently, food is linked in our minds to happy times with family or friends. Perhaps we experienced food rewards from our parents or authority figures for scholastic or sports accomplishments. For many, food has become synonymous with love. And so in times of stress, fear, and loneliness, many turn to food to fill a void that only love and self-fulfillment can satisfy.

Habitual overeating also results in being out of shape, overweight, and generally unattractive in the paradigm of Western modern-day culture. The more one eats as a substitute for missing self-love and intimacy with others, the more obese he or she is likely to become. This in turn reinforces the feeling that the heavier the person becomes, the less she fits in and the lower her self-esteem and self-confidence plummets. The greater the feelings of loneliness and not fitting in that result, the more she is likely to seek comfort in food (especially the high carbohydrate, high fat, high comfort variety). A vicious cycle is thus set in motion ensuring more weight gain and lower self-esteem.

Sports and Other Physical Outlets

Some people run to overcome feelings of loneliness, boredom, depression or lacking self-worth. Some pump iron, play golf, or work out at the gym while others find their own unique way to divert their focus through exercise, hobbies, or sports. Many would argue that such a diversion is a healthy way to funnel energy into an activity that contributes to good physical health. However, like any obsession, when taken to the extreme for the purpose of diverting attention from issues in need of resolution, it can become an unhealthy means of avoiding areas in serious need of attention.

Sex

An obsession with sex outside of a healthy, loving relationship can likewise become a means of distraction to take the focus away from self-esteem and self-confidence issues. Whether it’s Internet porn sites, an obsession with strip clubs, or the need for frequent casual sexual encounters, all serve as an effort to numb the pain of isolation. Ironically, the greater the obsession to connect with others through meaningless sexual experiences, the greater one’s sense of isolation will likely become.

Shopping

Another common obsession to compensate for a low self-image is shopping. While some find temporary comfort in making themselves feel more attractive by purchasing the latest, most stylish clothes, shoes, accessories, or even cars and other expensive toys if their budget allows (and many times even if it does not!), compulsive shoppers find that the comfort they seek in material items is typically short lived. They often fool themselves into thinking that next new dress, sport coat, outfit or cologne purchase will make the difference they seek in having them feel better about themselves. Sadly, it never does. However, all too often such excessive spending sprees send the shopaholic deeper into debt. This further reinforces or worsens the failure interpretation they already possessed and continues to diminish their self-esteem and confidence level.

There are countless other addictions that people resort to in an effort to find meaning in life when their own self-worth is lacking. Whether it is compulsive gambling, studying, puttering in the yard, decorating the house, or whatever other diversion, those who lack inner peace will not soon find it externally with a focus that seeks to cover up feelings of being unworthy or unlovable.

Thankfully, there IS a way to reclaim one’s self-worth and restore self-esteem to a high level providing internal comfort and fulfillment. For a complete road map to reclaiming self-esteem, Purchase the book in this blog    and discover all details of this strong authentic formula that will assist you in boosting your self-esteem and self-confidence.


Summary:
Diminshed levels of self-esteem and poor self-confidence are often shown in certain human behaviour. This article gives a list of five emotional ways that uncover this human lack. In addition it provides solutions to solve one's poor level of self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.

Copyright 2006 Dr Joe Rubino

The Confidence Plan: How to Build a Stronger You

Confidence is a word which we frequently use in everyday language yet rarely do we stop and think what it means. Most dictionary definitions of confidence focus on two related ideas:

•    confidence is about being certain of your own abilities
•    confidence is about having trust in people, plans or the future.

Confidence is thus not simply a feeling that things will go well but also a judgement on our own, or others’, abilities. When the abilities in question are our own, having confidence suggest a high level of self-assurance. Since confidence involves the belief that things will turn out well, confidence may sometimes be used interchangeably with optimism.

As confidence is a multidimensional concept it is not a term much used by psychologists. Indeed the academics who are most likely to use the term are economists. Confidence is a key concept in economics as confidence is needed for investment and the operation of markets.

Instead of confidence, psychologists are more likely to use terms which may still be difficult to define but which are more focused and so more amenable to measurement. The most commonly used terms by psychologists are: self-esteem, self-efficacy and optimism.

Self-esteem

Millions of words have been written about self-esteem and many critics believe it is a slippery concept. However, there is general agreement that there are two broad ways to define, and measure, self-esteem. One is to see it as the evaluation a person makes of their capabilities. The other is to see self-esteem as the essentially emotional feeling an individual has about their self-worth. The latter is the more common definition and is the one used in the most popular tool to measure self-esteem – the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale.

 Self-efficacy

Self-efficacy is the term that psychologists use to describe the belief a person has that they can reach their goals. Unlike self-esteem which is more of a global judgement on the self and its worth, self-efficacy specifically isolates the way an individual assesses their competence in relation to achievements, goals and life events. Self-efficacy expert, Professor Albert Bandura from Stanford University argues that “ordinary realities are strewn with impediments, adversities, setbacks, frustrations and inequities.” He therefore claims that people need “a robust sense of efficacy” to keep trying.” Research on self-esteem suggests that parents (through genes and parenting style) have the biggest influence on a young person’s self-esteem. However, Bandura and others argue that schools have a huge part to play in developing young people’s feelings of self-efficacy. (An entire chapter of the book is devoted to self-efficacy and how it can be fostered.)

Optimism

In everyday life we usually use the word optimism to mean feeling positive about life. Often we refer to someone who is optimistic as seeing ‘the glass as half-full, rather than half-empty”.

In psychology, there are two main ways to define optimism. Scheier and Carver, the authors of the popular optimism measure – the Life Orientation Test - for example, define optimism as “the global generalized tendency to believe that one will generally experience good versus bad outcomes in life.” In everyday language this means “looking on the bright side of life.” In such a definition, pessimism is the tendency to believe “if something will go wrong for me, it will”. The other main way to define optimism is to use the concept of 'explanatory style'. This is the approach taken by Professor Martin Seligman author of Learned Optimism and co-author of The Optimistic Child. He argues that each of us has our own ‘explanatory style’, a way of thinking about the causes of things that happen in our lives. Optimists are those who see adversities as temporary and restricted to one domain of life while pessimists often see problems as permanent and pervasive. 
Source



This book contains the following preferences


1-Mental Strategies: Beliefs that lead to peak performance

2-Emotional Approaches: Building Deep Confidence through insight and feelings

3-Behavioral Tactics: Actions that create confidence and success

4-Relational factors: developing a community that recharges rather than drains.

5-Spiritual Contentedness Discovering Unbreakable Confidence by living your purpose and mission

Limitless You: The Infinite Possibilities of a Balanced Brain

The Science of Getting Rich is a book written by the New Thought Movement writer Wallace D. Wattles. The book is still in print after 100 years. It was a major inspiration for Rhonda Berny's bestselling book and film The Secret. According to USA Today, the text is "divided into 17 short, straight-to-the-point chapters that explain how to overcome mental barriers, and how creation, not competition, is the hidden key to wealth attraction." Wattles, who had formerly been a Methodist, ran for office as a Socialist candidate in Indiana in 1916. He included the word science in the title, reflecting a secular approach to New Thought though also thereby borrowing from the then-rampant popularity of Christian Science and its offshoots as he wrote about business prosperity, mind training, and success in the material world. The mental technique that he called "thinking in the Certain Way," was intended to establish a state of positivity and self-affirmation. The contents, with chapter titles like "How to Use the Will" and "Further Use of the Will" advance Wattle's concept of the "Certain Way." Similar keywords about will power, mastery, and success are found in the writings of contemporary early 20th century authors Charles F. Haanel (The Master Key System), the Methodist minister Frank Channing Haddock (Power of Will, Power for Success, Mastery of Self for Wealth Power Success), and Elizabeth Towne (How to Grow Success). The Science of Getting Rich (1910) is a companion volume to the author's book on health from a New Thought perspective, The Science of Being Well (1910) and his personal self-help book The Science of Being Great (1911). All three were originally issued in matching bindings. The Science of Getting Rich preceded similar financial success books such as The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel (1912) and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (1937). In the 100 years since its publication, it has gone through many editions, and remains in print from more than one publisher. The Science of Getting Rich was credited by Rhonda Byrne as one of the inspirations for her popular 2006 film and 2007 book The Secret. As Byrne explained it on the web site of Oprah Winfrey, "Something inside of me had me turn the pages one by one, and I can still remember my tears hitting the pages as I was reading it. [...] It gave me a glimpse of The Secret. It was like a flame inside of my heart. And with every day since, it's just become a raging fire of wanting to share all of this with the world." The book is included in personal development scholar Tom Butler-Bowdon's list of "50 Success Classics" in his 2004 book of that name.

Exercise Beats Depression

Depression is a disabling condition which can adversely affect a person's work, sleep, eating habits, and family life-as well as one's overall health. Unfortunately, while commonly used treatments can be highly effective, they may not be ideal for everybody. For instance, some drugs have unwanted side-effects, and many people are turned off by the social stigma of going to therapy. Money can be an issue as well.


....Are you depressed?   Depression is a medical illness that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Depression can cause physical symptoms, too.
Also called major depression, major depressive disorder and clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave. Depression can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn't worth living.
More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out" of. Depression is a chronic illness that usually requires long-term treatment, like diabetes or high blood pressure. Deprasion is also know'n for having symptoms such as
Suicide and isolation  depressed people usually live in world of their own having no activity's.


Exercise benefits.

1-Protect and cure conditions and diseases lowering blood preasure.

2-Boosting your energy to exercise and Stimulate blood circulation which benefit the heart and the body's muscles and arteries throughout the body,
Increased blood circulation improves oxygen rich blood flow to extremities

3-regular physical activity can help you prevent or manage a wide range of health problems and concerns including stroke, metabolic syndrome, type 2 diabetes, depression, certain types of cancer, arthritis and falls

Book Description

Section 1 is "Overview of Exercise and Depression" and answers such questions as...

• What proof is there that exercise is actually effective in treating depression?
• What kind of exercise is best when it comes to treating depression?
• How much exercise does one have to do in order to decrease depression?
• Is doing exercise at home on your own as effective as supervised exercise?
• Does exercise work better if its done with other people compared to exercising by your self?
• How long do I have to exercise before I will see an improvement in my depression?
• How long do the results of the exercise program last?
• How does exercise compare to other treatments for depression?

Section 2 is "The Strengthening Exercise Program" and answers such questions as...

• What should I wear?
• What equipment will I need?
• How many exercises will I have to do?
• How many times will I have to lift the weight for each exercise?
• How much weight should I start off with?
• The section shows you 6 warm-up stretches for the neck, shoulders, legs, and back, followed by six basic strengthening exercises that work all the major upper and lower body muscles.  Also included are alternate exercises in case some of the basic exercises don't agree with you. For instance, there are exercises you can do in the standing position, or lying down.
• These exercise can all be done at home.  However if you prefer to use a gym, and have access to weight machines, I've outlined a gym routine you can also do.
• This section has over 75 pictures of the exercises so you that know how to do them correctly - and ends with 6-weeks worth of exercise sheets so you can write down your progress and stay on track.

Section 3 is "The Aerobic Exercise Program" and answers such questions as...

• What exactly is aerobic exercise?
• What should I wear?
• Is one kind of aerobic exercise better than another when it comes to beating depression?
• How fast do I need to walk or run?
• Does it matter where I do my aerobic exercise?
• The section shows you 6 warm-up stretches for the neck, shoulders, legs, and back, followed by your choice of aerobic exercises: walking or running.
• The aerobic exercises can all be done at home.  
• This section ends with 6-weeks worth of exercise sheets so you can write down your progress and stay on track.                                                                               

 

  

                                                            

How to Analyze People on Sight

Yes its true you can instantly analyze a person from the first second you see him and you wont have to spend a lot of time to analyze them and a lot of people well disagree with me but no one can take away the fact that the way we talk,walk,eat which is our behavior can not show what we really are.
however analyzing a person's behavior is a first step to know how to deal with them in a better way which well drive people to trusting you and increase your social reputation as a person who knows how to deal with people on sight but in fact your just analyzing them on sight.

however analyzing people is easier than analyzing whom we know and the reason behind that is easy because you can never analyze people who are close to you because you have feelings for them and you trust them and that is why you can never analyze them and one of the major reasons is that when analyzing a person you should think of the worst and best things they could be and you cant imagine someone close to you to be be a traitor or having a behavior that you find unacceptable therefor you can't analyze someone who is close to you.


How Analyzing people on sight improves you.

Dealing with people well be easier since you well know how to analyze people and understand their behavior and increase your communication skills in society and increase self satisfaction, analyzing people helps you to be a great talker and a good listener



                          
  

Book Description

 

What Newspapers Have Said About Elsie Benedict and Her Work "Over fifty thousand people heard Elsie Lincoln Benedict at the City Auditorium during her six weeks lecture engagement in Milwaukee."-Milwaukee Leader, April 2, 1921. "Elsie Lincoln Benedict has a brilliant record. She is like a fresh breath of Colorado ozone. Her ideas are as stimulating as the health-giving breezes of the Rockies."-New York Evening Mail, April 16, 1914. "Several hundred people were turned away from the Masonic Temple last night where Elsie Lincoln Benedict, famous human analyst, spoke on 'How to Analyze People on Sight.' Asked how she could draw and hold a crowd of 3,000 for a lecture, she said: 'Because I talk on the one subject on earth in which every individual is most interested-himself.'"-Seattle Times, June 2, 1920. "Elsie Lincoln Benedict is a woman who has studied deeply under genuine scientists and is demonstrating to thousands at the Auditorium each evening that she knows the connection between an individual's external characteristics and his inner traits."-Minneapolis News, November 7, 1920. "Elsie Lincoln Benedict is known nationally, having conducted lecture courses in many of the large Eastern cities. Her work is based upon the practical methods of modern science as worked out in the world's leading laboratories where exhaustive tests are applied to determine individual types, talents, vocational bents and possibilities."-San Francisco Bulletin, January 25, 1919.

                                                          

Making Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Work: Clinical Process for New Practitioners

Explaining Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy 

Behavioral Therapy which is done by therapists who monitor and study the behavior of individuals who  are behaving in a unacceptable way and work on finding the reason for that unacceptable  behavior to help them behave the way they should within their society

behaviors is a way to analyze our personalty and predict the reason for the way we behave based on our actions, for instant for serial killers the prevalence of physical abuse was 36% sexual abuse was 26% and psychological abuse was 50% neglect was equally prevalent in the serial killer (18%)
and societal norm populations and this is why judging a person based on their behavior is easier than you think but helping the person who is having a problem with her/his behavior is done by specialized therapists.

this book helps in making cognitive behavioral therapy for therapists increasing  their skills in identifying the causes of behavior and treating in steps with confidence, and filled with tips on how to deal with the given behavior

Book Description

A highly practical guide for beginning therapists, this concise primer fills the gap between academic training and what newly-minted clinicians need to know for day-to-day work with clients. Illustrated are the "whats," "whens," and "how-tos" of the entire process of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)--from intake, assessment, case conceptualization, and treatment planning, through conducting sessions, making the most of supervision, and termination. Interwoven with an extended case example is expert guidance on confidentiality, informed consent, recordkeeping, and report writing, and on managing relationship issues and common problems that arise in CBT. Invaluable appendices point the reader toward additional resources, including empirically supported treatment manuals, journals, and websites.

                                                        
 

Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life

 Critical thinking is doing everything according to a specific persons orders in other words the personalty of the followers well be so limited and decided by the leader who influence his followers by lying and deceiving them to have them do as he says and allow them to say what he wants them to say which is covered in this book Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life.

How Can Critical thinking effect our life.

Critical thinking effect us in a  major way but most impotently is our  decision making which is pretty much how we live our life and it goes to everything we do in our life from how we wear our cloth to how we think and how we decide it makes us think that we are doing the right thing and in other words it makes us think we are living a perfect life where everyone else is not and that we are one step ahead of everyone else while where actually not, following someone's way of life and decision making just because they influence you is a wrong decision which leads to a path no one wish's to see for example  Jim Jones who has influenced 100s of people leading them to a mass suicide with cyanide poisoning and those people followed him upon the influence he has given them.



Taking charge of our life and personal life

take charge of you life get ready to deal with problems and keep your personal life just personal and build a strong personalty which is what this book well show you Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life
taking charge of your life means taking choices of your own not copying some else's choices which makes you a unique person because there is no difference between you and the person whom your influenced about , you can always listen to anyone and take whats useful for you and don't listen to them to the point where you end losing charge of your life and your choices.



Dealing with people who influence you in a healthy way.

Its normal to be influenced by other people and how they live their life's and how they acheive a smiler goal that we are also working on but it does not mean we should do everything else the exact way as they are instead you should is take whats good for you and leave the rest of the things that you know or might not know about that person who influence you a side , for example you should not change your religion and believes and your life style just because your influenced by one person but you should improve your life style and personalty and improve your choice to the better in a way you see is right and does not have any harm for anyone else.

 



 

Book Description

Critical Thinking is about becoming a better thinker in every aspect of your life: in your career, and as a consumer, citizen, friend, parent, and lover. Discover the core skills of effective thinking; then analyze your own thought processes, identify weaknesses, and overcome them. Learn how to translate more effective thinking into better decisions, less frustration, more wealth Ñ and above all, greater confidence to pursue and achieve your most important goals in life.

 

 

10 Psychological Experiment That Went Wrong

10 Psychological Experiment That Went Wrong

Psychology as we know it is a relatively young science, but since its inception it has helped us to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and our interactions with the world. Many psychological experiments have been valid and ethical, allowing researchers to make new treatments and therapies available, and giving other insights into our motivations and actions. Sadly, others have ended up backfiring horribly — ruining lives and shaming the profession. Here are ten psychological experiments that spiraled out of control.

10. Stanford Prison Experiment

Prisoners and guards
In 1971, social psychologist Philip Zimbardo set out to interrogate the ways in which people conform to social roles, using a group of male college students to take part in a two-week-long experiment in which they would live as prisoners and guards in a mock prison. However, having selected his test subjects, Zimbardo assigned them their roles without their knowledge, unexpectedly arresting the "prisoners" outside their own homes. The results were disturbing. Ordinary college students turned into viciously sadistic guards or spineless (and increasingly distraught) prisoners, becoming deeply enmeshed within the roles they were playing. After just six days, the distressing reality of this "prison" forced Zimbardo to prematurely end the experiment.

9. The Monster Study

Wendell Johnson, of the University of Iowa, who was behind the study
In this study, conducted in 1939, 22 orphaned children, 10 with stutters, were separated equally into two groups: one with a speech therapist who conducted "positive" therapy by praising the children’s progress and fluency of speech; the other with a speech therapist who openly chastised the children for the slightest mistake. The results showed that the children who had received negative responses were badly affected in terms of their psychological health. Yet more bad news was to come as it was later revealed that some of the children who had previously been unaffected developed speech problems following the experiment. In 2007, six of the orphan children were awarded $925,000 in compensation for emotional damage that the six-month-study had left them with.

8. MK-ULTRA

Theodore Kaczynski, the Unabomber, also seen top
The CIA performed many unethical experiments into mind control and psychology under the banner of project MK-ULTRA during the 50s and 60s. Theodore Kaczynski, otherwise known as the Unabomber, is reported to have been a test subject in the CIA's disturbing experiments, which may have contributed to his mental instability. In another case, the administration of LSD to US Army biological weapons expert Frank Olson is thought to have sparked a crisis of conscience, inspiring him to tell the world about his research. Instead, Olson is said to have committed suicide, jumping from a thirteenth-story hotel room window, although there is strong evidence that he was murdered. This doesn't even touch on the long-term psychological damage other test subjects are likely to have suffered.

7. Elephant on LSD

In 1962, Warren Thomas, the director of Lincoln Park Zoo in Oklahoma City, injected an elephant named Tusko with 3,000 times the typical human dose of LSD. It was an attempt to make his mark on the scientific community by determining whether the drug could induce "musth" — the aggressiveness and high hormone levels that male elephants experience periodically. The only contribution Thomas made was to create a public relations disaster as Tusko died almost immediately after collapsing and going into convulsions.

6. Milgram Experiment

The Milgram Experiment underway
In 1963, in the wake of the atrocities of the Holocaust, Stanley Milgram set out to test the hypothesis that there was something special about the German people that had allowed them to participate in genocide. Under the pretense of an experiment into human learning, Milgram asked normal members of the public to ask questions to a man attached to an electric-shock generator and shock him in increasing measure when he answered incorrectly. The man was an actor, the shocks fake; but the participants didn’t know this. The terrifying part? People overwhelmingly obeyed the commands of the experimenter, even when the man screamed in apparent agony and begged for mercy. A little evil in all of us, perhaps?

5. Tony LaMadrid

Many medicated schizophrenics enrolled in a University of California study that required them to stop taking their medication in a program that started in 1983. The study was meant to give information that would allow doctors to better treat schizophrenia, but rather it messed up the lives of many of the test subjects, 90% of whom relapsed into episodes of mental illness. One participant, Tony LaMadrid, leaped to his death from a rooftop six years after first enrolling in the study.

4. Pit of Despair

A rhesus monkey infant in one of Harlow's isolation chambers
Psychologist Harry Harlow was obsessed with the concept of love, but rather than writing poems or love songs, he performed sick, twisted experiments on monkeys during the 1970s. One of his experiments revolved around confining the monkeys in total isolation in an apparatus he called the "well of despair” (a featureless, empty chamber depriving the animal of any stimulus or socialization) — which resulted in his subjects going insane and even starving themselves to death in two cases. Harlow ignored the criticism of his colleagues, and is quoted as saying, “How could you love monkeys?” The last laugh was on him, however, as his horrific treatment of his subjects is acknowledged as being a driving force behind the development of the animal rights movement and the end of such cruel experiments.

3. The Third Wave

Running along a similar theme similar to the Milgram experiment, The Third Wave, carried out in 1967, was an experiment that set out to explore the ways in which even democratic societies can become infiltrated by the appeal of fascism. Using a class of high school students, the experimenter created a system whereby some students were considered members of a prestigious order. The students showed increased motivation to learn, yet, more worryingly, became eager to get on board with malevolent practices, such as excluding and ostracizing non-members from the class. Even more scarily, this behavior was gleefully continued outside of the classroom. After just four days, the experiment was considered to be slipping out of control and was ceased.

2. Homosexual Aversion Therapy

In the 1960s homosexuality was frequently depicted as a mental illness, with many individuals seeking (voluntarily or otherwise) a way to "cure" themselves of their sexual attraction to members of the same sex. Experimental therapies at the time included aversion therapy — where homosexual images were paired with such things as electric shocks and injections that caused vomiting. The thought was that the patient would associate pain with homosexuality. Rather than "curing" homosexuality, these experiments profoundly psychologically damaged the patients, with at least one man dying from the “treatment” he received, after he went into a coma.

1. David Reimer

David Reimer
In 1966, when David Reimer was 8 months old, his circumcision was botched and he lost his penis to burns. Psychologist John Money suggested that baby David be given a sex change. The parents agreed, but what they didn’t know was that Money secretly wanted to use David as part of an experiment to prove his views that gender identity was not inborn, but rather determined by nature and upbringing. David was renamed Brenda, surgically altered to have a vagina, and given hormonal supplements — but tragically the experiment backfired. "Brenda" acted like a stereotypical boy throughout childhood, and the Reimer family began to fall apart. At 14, Brenda was told the truth, and decided to go back to being David. He committed suicide at the age of 38.


The Source

When where not Seeking Solutions, only changes.

People never stop at solving their problems by just accepting the idea that there is only one solution for their problems and there's no way for that problem to be solved but the biggest problem is that they don't want a solutions for their problem but they actually want a change that is impossible  even if they are convinced that a solution is the key, in my experience i have come cross these types of people my entire life and i can say that all the problems that i have seen occur constantly with people had always one way out direction but no one is taking that direction.



People should not spend time thinking on how to solve a problem rather than that, they should always think of logical ways to solve their problems that makes sense to them and to everyone who is involved within the problem it's self.
such problems like a person who hates his job so he has a problem and he wants his job to change but it well never change and he cant quit his job because he would have financial problems if he quit his job so he has one way which is accepting his job for what it is because it does bring food to his table and does pay for his bills and like i said in a previous post that Our Choices are the causes of what life brings to us and its not life that got us where we at we basically should see these types of issues and to get ready for it.


Am not limiting your choice to solve a problem i know there are Several  steps to solve a problem written by people who had a whole lot more experience than i do but what am telling you is that most common problems  that we deal with in our daily life either in the short term or in the long term always has the one way out which is accepting your problem and working on a logical way to solve it because usually what happens is people start to take their small problem to use it as an excuse for their actions and start to cause more problems for themselves and for the people around them while they could take the easy way out which is solving their issue instantly.

You might ask yourself how can you solve a problem that did not happen yet, or how can you get ready for something you did not plan in your life to happen and the answer for that is simple its because you did not get ready for it, you should get ready at your first day in the job for a boss who well hate you or a wife who well be mad at you for no reason or a son who well not life you but all of this is natural human life we should be having these problems but it does not mean that its natural that we should not solve them, the solution for each of these problems is simple and if you did not use the easy solutions which i mean by easy i mean the logical solution then you well be having bigger problems in your life

your having bad time at where you live?
your not getting good grades at college?
your not being satisfied about your life?
who isn't?

we all face these issues that can lead us to making mistakes we regrade in life but it does not mean that when we reach a point where we made so many mistakes that can't still take that one way out.


Your Well find this book very useful and helpful showing you principles of problem formation and problem resolution

Its Not Life..Its You.

People face this problem a lot and most of the time they just try to find someone to blame and develop more problems and regrade till they reach a point where they say its just life but it is not it is them because people usually take decisions based on their culture and think that everything is going to be perfect but it well not be perfect because no matter what type of decision anyone makes it well always have its negative side and it's bright side and people look only at the bright side without noticing anything wrong with their decisions that they always make in their daily life's.



you should not depend on other people regardless who they are to avoid conflict and problems that can occur from that neither you should always think that your goals in life well bring complete happiness to you because there well always the bright side and the bad side to you or someone else.

Live With it and never complain to people about it, in this age and time people want to jump the open sea and still don't get wet, yet once they get wet after jumping to the sea they well start to complain and question everyone around them trying to but the blame on someone else.

Life is not about how much you can make but it is about how much you can take, you should not live your life in a way where everything should be going according to what you want it to be, and no one can ever live their life's where they well always be respected by everyone because humanity can never agree on one point.

You should always have a plan when you commit to make a decision of any kind , specially if it's a decision that can take off your wants and even your needs in life and if you can't do that then you should work on doing that because there is no such thing as (you where forced to do this or that) in life there are hundreds of ways not only what you think.

Thinking outside the box is the first step to make a successful decision and a successful decision is a decision that you have backup plane to and know how to deal with problems once they happen, and you should see things in different ways , don;t ever see things from one point of view, instead but yourself in someone else's shoes that have mad a good successful decision and see how well that work for you.

Successful Communication with Society

                          Silent Is Gold 

People usually tell everything they get to their heads which makes them predictable and easy to be analysed by other people while staying silent and listening to everyone give their opinions and taking your time thinking to know what to say well make you always right and the type of person that people would ask you for an advise when they are having a question or a problem of some kind and that goes everywhere from your day at the job to your life at home, the key to successful conversation in a group is listening to what everyone has to say an from there you start talking.

am not saying you should keep your mouth shot while your around people am saying that listening and then talking is the golden moment to show everyone how thoughtful you are, and regardless you agree with the person/people your talking with do not ever try to correct  the people around you when it comes to talking on culture-religion-talking about specific type of people in some society because those types of believes never change in people and they always have their reasons and trying to correct them based on your experience well result on conflict.

The key to successful communications with anyone you come cross is analyzing them and find out what is their interests and the place and time and what cloth they are wearing  and age all of those things are parts you but together to analyze a person instantly and from there you well not feel lost around anyone.

 Avoid conflict because not everyone thinks the same way as others do and you think differently from what others do and finding the shared things between people and butting that on the table is the key to a successful communication and a problem solving key you can use, there is always conflict everywhere, between a father and a son and between tow strangers for instant when your talking with a friend about his/her country try not to judge but try to keep the conversation where you are seeing it from your culture point of view and keep the person talking and continue his/her conversation on what they are talking about which leaves the idea of judging out of the picture.

                      Socializing Online

Today there are over six billion people online  and they all connect through chatting websites and must importunately through twitter and Facebook  and analyzing people through the internet is a lot easier than doing it in person because people usually are polite and don't show you everything about themselves only when it comes to the internet and i well tell you how.

-When a person uses wrong words against you or against what you stand for they have no personalty in real life which is outside the internet.

-When a person have a picture of himself showing off that means that he is looking for attraction from people in the internet and in real life because he is not having any.

-When a person takes everything/something seriously that you said in the internet that means they are he/she is not being taking seriously in work/home/around friends.

-Taking the opposite of how people react in the internet analyzes a person instantly because people feel safe in the internet and feel they have complete privacy but that does not mean that 

we should look into it in a bad way because there is a reason for everything a human does.

but never think for one second that if you have a lot of friends online that you well be a social person because socializing online is not enough and socializing with people in real life is the complete link to communication with people.

                     SOCIAL LIFE PROBLEMS

people take everything seriously when it comes to social life problem and what am referring for is dealing with people who talk about you behind your back and people who do not like you and lie to you and those are social life problems that have tow options:-

1-Seeing it from the person's point of view and try to solve the conflict.

2-Continue on making bigger problems and making social life conflict increase.

Seeing it from the person's point of view you are having problems with well be the first step to solve a conflict and that conflict can be due differences in personalty-culture- and the reasons are several, however social life problems are always there and choosing to ignore them are a big mistake but dealing with problems is a first and finding the cause so that it never happen again is the tow keys to solving problems that occur in social life.

Being You, Defines You

You Can Never Please The People Around You 
Only When You Be Yourself You well.


There are a lot of people who always lie to everyone to try to fit in with them,because they usually think that this is the best way for them to be popular among the people they lie to but they are lying to themselves and creating nothing but secrets and keeping secrets from everyone around them, those type of people find lying and being someone's else is always the key to get what they want and well never stop doing that because the idea of being themselves is the only thing they well never understand, but it is simple to be yourself trying to find what your personalty fit and finding people whom have slimier thinking well not be a problem because they well come to you and you well find friends easier than you ever thought but when you lie to people to try and fit with them due self interest then you are not being yourself your just lying to everyone to get what you want which is creating an illusion to everyone that your popular and which is not, now it's true you can always lie to get what you want but you well always be disappointing to everyone and your secret well be out in the open in no time and think how you well look front of those people.


Culture, Society,Friends,Reasons....Has the Effect.
where you grow up and where you accepted to your society and found friends and had all the reasons in life those are the factors that make you and create you which well make you define what is right and what is wrong and make you, YOURSELF,don't wait for people to judge you and make the judgment effect your personalty and change your goals but take it as an advise.never wait for anyone to give you credits but give credits for yourself and never let people define who you are and it doesn't matter how great or valuable they are in your life because no one knows you better than you when you are YOURSELF.





Your The Boss Of Yourself.

Yes your the boss your the one who does what he thinks is right and believe in what you logically think is right and no need to tell everyone about yourself if they don't like that type of personally , keep your distance from everyone not that you should lock yourself in a room and talk to no one but don't go to a Jewish guy and tell him you like Hitler yes you have bad habits but don't everyone have those? and yes your not that great in what you do but not everyone is , you don't have to see who are better than you not the people who are worst than you but you have to see where you stand defines you as a person and am not telling you this to be a better person am telling you this to see what you are and what you want in this life and do it the way you want it to be.



Don't Change For Them Change For The Better.

Go Outside and walk in a crowded mall and see all the people around you some of them who are looking at you and some of them who are having a bad day and some of them who are happy but their actually not but one thing they all have in common which is they only judge and they never understand any behavior and spend their life judging everything around them forgetting the must important thing which is no body really cares what they think maybe for a minute or tow then no one cares. so why even change how you really are for those people who don't really care and you don't have to wait for them to care in the first place don't question yourself if your ugly or your fat or not these things are reasonable it's like asking someone if 1+1=2 or not.
change for the better change if you find yourself in need for change to obtain something you want or need like quitting smoking or stop driving recklessly but not entirely to the point where you find yourself lying and keeping secrets.
Life passes by faster than you think and when you look back at yourself few years ago and the type of situations you have been through and say the words (i could do this or that) that means you did lie to yourself in the pass but that wont stop you from becoming better and changing to the better right now at this moment picking yourself up the pass can never change but the future is always promising and rewarding in many ways you never could imagine.

SUICIDE

Suicide.

Suicide is giving up on everything and quitting from life leaving nothing behind and the reason of suicide is  simple but the causes are several what suicidal people do have in common is that they all share the one thing that they are all suffering from isolation they find the world being empty and there is nothing there for them

you well be surprised that even rich people suicide not if they lost their wealth but even if they come cross doing something that is against their religion or culture the reasons behind suicide can be caused by rules that bound people to commit suicide and can't find another solution to end their pain and suffering so they commit suicide and think that it is the only choice they have got.

Debate with suicide.

Have you ever walked into a public bathroom and found a man/women with a knife in their hand trying to commit suicide?

the first thought in your head is that you want to help that person and make him/her stop from trying to get her/him self killed but i only brought up this situation because i wanted you to take off everything that you stand up for your culture your religion and even the people you love and care about and your assets which is your property then would you commit suicide? 

then try to talk that person that well have the same reasons you would have that well but you in a situation that you want to commit suicide and try to talk him out of it.

this is all the reasons that people who suicide have and they are several and sometimes can be for something that is seriously stupid but it does not mean that if you lose everything that you should commit suicide but if you did lose everything that means its your problem and no one else's problem because it's you who did not think of a plan B.

because we live in a time where anything can happen the stock market falls down, company's layoff's millions of employees sending them back home with nothing to do, CEO's working in burger king because they could not implement another plan  in case they could no longer be CEO's anymore.

if your reading this post because you want to suicide but your still thinking of alternatives and ways to avoid it your still seriously confused of how you want to die but one thing for curtain is while your trying to find out a way to kill yourself your sure that you well not die before you actually kill yourself so before you suicide how about doing something you can be remembered of doing things that you never thought possible even things you used to fear the must, i personally fear diving because i have fear of the open ocean and some people have fear of sky diving and through facing your worst fears your basically facing the idea of suicide because when your facing your worst fears and your heart rate increases it's because your scared of dying but why your scared of dying if your trying to commit suicide anyways.

SUICIDE Reasons...

There are so many reasons to suicide but the most common one is human disability like becoming blind when your 30 years old or find out that you have the Parkinson's disease, these are major causes to suicide that has no cure so it leads to one thing only which is suicide, in my experience i have never come cross having a human disability but  when a person fights such thing is called a fighter but when a person who committed suicide while coming cross such disability in his/her life they have got all the reasons in the world to commit suicide.

Other reasons people suicide for that are stupid because once a person has the suicide idea in his/her brain it well never leave him/her and even if it did , it well take a long time to recover.

Suicide...it is around us.

how come it is around you might say, your friends are happy your family loves you and your wife is always there for you, but the big problem you have got is that teenagers also can develop suicide ideas even faster than you can think, because in their age they think suicide is the solution when you ground them for the day or when you take away their things that they spend must of the time on, now am not a father but one thing for sure is that paying attention around us for everyone that we care about is our job to do so.

PERFECTION

Perfection is what everyone want's and is looking for when you find someone who is in constant  sadness and
     regrade then that person simply is seeking perfection something does not exist.

 Perfection is a human illusion that people are looking for in everyday, thinking that once you 

 reach a specific goal things well be perfectly fine but its not, believe it or not must people are

 seeking perfection but they think they are not, that they are just trying to make things right

and become successful, then the idea of becoming successful fly's out of the window because

 they want what is never there which is perfection.

we all want to be successful in our life's we all want the best things we could ever have dreamed of regardless what it is we want to reach it as soon as possible but that can never happen with the state 

of thinking that it well fix everything and we well all live happy ever after, you well face problems and 

sadness no matter what you do this is life ups and downs well show up but the only things you well remember is how you passed the hard times in your life and how you achieved so many things you never even planned for in the first place.

When you buy a new car that you always wanted you might someday crash it even if it was not your fault.

When you get in a relationship for a long term you might end up breaking up, or he/she breaks up.

When you finally get a new better paying job your boss might dislike/disagree with you.

When you finally got an amazing house but your neighbors are annoying.

When you have a son that have always made you proud but in the end he did something else he wants.

                                                                                       Life Is Not Perfect For Anyone Regardless who you are.....Accepting life is the key for reaching your goal.

ISOLATION

Isolation or in other words autism which i have in my experience is the feeling that your believes and thoughts are restricted to yourself and can't share any of it with anyone else which leaves a big burden on your shoulders to carry which comes the term Isolation.

Isolation is not a disease but it is a temporary depending on the person's choice who is having an isolation part in his/her life which cannot be always noticed.

Isolation for a person is when he/she see themselves alone in this world with no one to talk to or share anything with and when they get something in return it's always with a price to pay with no real friends what so ever, basically its a friends with benefits or no friends at all which leaves the person to doing everything by him/her self that can cause problems in the future, isolation can be recovered and forgotten by finding a culture or society that fits the person who is feeling isolated from everything around him./her
because isolation start in one area for that person and develop through time and when that person moves from that place/area/culture and start exploring other places and finding new people and new culture he/she well feel different and start to want to form new friends and even a bigger chance to find someone to be his/her friend and form a relationship or a friendship that can be a solution to Isolation issues.





But don't forget that nothing is perfect and in life we well see the worst and best of it but its does not mean once we see the worst of it that we have to do harm to yourself but you have to accept it and live with it and dealing with it, because dealing with problems is better than trying to find the cause of it. 

Anger Release.

This Is Not Anger Management 
This Is .............Anger Release



Hate and Anger and regrade are three things all lead to each other and what am going to show you how it is all linked to each other and that is based on experience.



You react to what have happened to you in the pass either at someone or at yourself for doing something specific that effects your believes or ethics  or culture and you generate Anger.

You start to hate and blame even if it was your fault your mind well still try to find someone to hate that someone you hate can be the closer person to you and you well start to hate.

Regrades is what results from hate and anger because when you are angry and full of hate and that includes anyone you well attempt to do things you never thought you would do and the cycle of anger and hate and regrade well continue...........

but i well show you how to pass by that because it stops just now while your reading these words you well remember everything  that drove you angry to be an addict to something that reduce the stress in your life and the hate and regrades.

First you have to see the causes are not letting you live your life without problems without any need for being angry at all, you have to but yourself in a position where you could not be regrading what has happened to you or what you have done, i know it is hard because of your culture and ethics and believes but am not telling you that a crime is justified but am telling you to reward yourself with another chance another white page that keeps coming every day but your filling it with the same thing over and over again for a long time you well only live once and never again so well this life of yours well be full of anger and hate is satisfying you then you should see the people that you care about whom are close to you and ask yourself are they satisfied with your personally and behavior, i know they might be the reason behind this but coming to a conclusion and letting go of small things means letting go of all the anger hate and regrade because the smallest thing that does not make any sense can make a person go to a state of anger and start his same behavior all over again. 

You are in anger and you are angry because you don't like what you are doing and think that there is no exit what so ever but regardless your age and looks you still breathing you can have an exit to your angry life and the only way to have an exit to for you to make one , make an exit out of the angry life of yours to somewhere you are curtain that well make you the person that is not angry and not hating everything you see , you have to move from that spot it is as easy as quitting smoking , Imagine  that you used smoke in a smokers area but now you have quieted smoking so you get out of that smoking area and start breathing normally.